Polite Porno?
January 24, 2006I was just thinking about the interpretation of porn and sex after watching lecture 3 and I mean come on. There are definiately two general schools of thought between men and women. It seems that a big part goes parallel with the stereotypes of men and women alike. Women are to be more proper and pleasant, softer and more passionate, and yes that is why i love women so much but with men it seems to be that the stereotype is rugged and harder and all together less sophisticated than women. So it seems that men watch porn while women “read stories.”
Consider those oh so typical fiction novels where a nothing less that jacked man with long dark hair has his perfect female lover in his arms. Take a look, those books are pretty graphic but you wouldnt be able to tell by the face value of the words they use like “swollen member”, I’m sure that it isn’t the man’s bicep. And yes, the stories leave room for interpretation and imagination and yes, movies or pictures tend to just get to the point (fast fowarding till you get to where you want) but I don’t care how it is said, erotica, porno, sexually explicit, saying it in a nice way doesn’t make it all too much better, just more polite. I qoute Eddie Murphy where he discusses what women want to hear “Honey, I want to make love to you” as opposed to the somewhat more aggressive version to which he happens to feel what really wants to be heard.
[...] After reading EBT’s post on Polite Porno?, it reminded me of those high school days where lots of the girls were reading romance novels. I’m not talking about those “Sweet Valley High” series which were so popular then. Perhaps they still are now. Let me put up a picture so you’ll get a lil understanding on what I mean. [...]
Some women would gladly admit to reading romance novels, but rather die than to admit watching porn.
[...] In playing the “catch-up” game on this gorgeous Friday afternoon, I came across a post made by EBT concerning the difference between men’s porno and women’s. You can read for yourself, but in summary, it basically took a look at the stereotype that men are open hard-core cravers while women are quiet and secretive about their ‘romance novels’ and ‘polite pornography.’ Please. I disagree. I believe women in general have made great strides in breaking the horrible stereotype that we read sexy little romance novels in a quiet bubble bath while men are busy with their “swollen member” watching some hard-core, bondage-filled porno. Putting aside the fact that women haven’t exactly been made to feel comfortable in expressing their sexual desires and personal experiences with it, take a look at the Sex & the City series. Never before has a television show gotten women to feel comfortable with talking about their new sex toys and latest one-night-stand over brunch at a public diner. How about February’s Cosmopolitan magazine cover? As it sits in my hands right now, I see the following: “60 SEX SKILLS: guys reveal the most mind-blowing bedroom moves women have ever tried” as well as highlights on articles about “snagging” any man you want and maintaining your orgasms. Nothing polite here. No romantic candlelit dinners with the tall-dark-and-handsome from the work party. Instead, it will probably tell you the best way to ‘bang him in the bathroom without getting caught by your boss.’ Although I’m well aware that not all women in society are going to immediately RSVP to the sex-toy party invitation that just came in the mail, and many others would probably cringe at an uncensored episode of Sex & the City, there are twice as many that would probably send a guy packing if he only wanted to “make love to you, Honey.” Please. Give us a little more credit here. A lot of us are really trying to become a part of your little porn ’school of thought’. Thoughts anyone?? [...]
I don’t know if this is the correct way to do this… this is all still foreign to me. But I commented on your entry here: http://jhrake.wordpress.com/2006/01/27/polite-porno-my-a/
I have to make a comment on my ealier “Polite Porno” responses. I think a very good point about women expressing there sexuality was quite important. The Sex and the City example is huge for describing this well. I, however, was aiming at the publishers, authors, and creators of such polite pornography, not the men or women themselves. This isn’t a competition to see who is harder (sexually) men or women. It was the route that some people were taking to say that what they are reading or how they are going about romance does not fall in the same category of sexual exploration.
Do you think there’s a difference in the Lesbian & Gay Community?
- Matthew L. Schwartz